Teaching children how to comfort the afflicted
Years ago when my son, Brodie, was 10 years old, he lost a friend in a car
accident. It happened right after a soccer game on a beautiful 4th
of July weekend. Greg was tragically struck while riding his bike. When
Brodie attended the funeral, he, at first, did not know what to say, nor was
how to act for losing a friend a new experience for him. He was very quiet
during the entire funeral as were many of Greg’s teammates. Only at the end
when he walked away from the graveside, did he and many of the other boys
burst into tears. I believe they all finally realized what had happened
to their teammate. Many wonderful words of sympathy were cited that day,
but the tears and shared grief from those boys spoke loudest to the stricken
family. It was the comfort they needed most.
The
terrorists attack on the United States this last week (September 11th) and
the ensuing devastation has shocked us all, but the grief it caused the
stricken families is more than anyone can bear. Aside from our own feelings
of anger, revenge, and sadness, these families deserve the best medicine we
can give them. And that is our corporate heartfelt grief. It is not so
important for these families that we identify and punish the terrorists who
inflicted such pain. Nor does it matter to the families that we will now
take any and all measures to keep this from happening again. Revenge and new
safety measures may be appropriate, but these alone will not bring comfort
to them. Corporate and expressed grief is the salve that will strengthen
them through the despair of losing a loved one.
Jesus wonderfully modeled how to meet the immediate needs of the grief
stricken. He demonstrated it best when he lost Lazareth, his friend.
Even though Jesus fully knew the outcome of Lazareth’s life here on earth,
grief overtook Him when he reached Lazareth’s sisters, Mary and Martha
(John 11:32-33, 35). A deeper study of the passage actually describes
Jesus’ reaction as “shaking in grief” when talking with the sisters. He
cried openly, as many of the stricken families did this last week. Of
course Jesus could have preached a sermon to Mary and Martha on God’s
sovereign will in the midst of tragedy (Romans 8:28). He could have
told them that the author of death, Satan, would one day eternally receive
the consequences of his actions. (Rev. 20:10). Jesus could have
told them to put their trials behind them, have faith, and move on to do
God’s will (Philippians 3:13-14). He could have easily challenged
Mary and Martha to count it all joy when they encounter various trials and
tribulations (James 1:2-3). But
Jesus chose none of these great counsels as His first response to the
heartbreak of Mary and Martha. He just openly shared His grief. God has not
changed. The minute those innocent loved ones perished last week, God cried
big tears with their families. And that is our ministry as well. We are
Christ’s healing ambassadors on earth, and we must respond as He did and
would.
Teachable Moment
The
purpose of this Teachable Moment is to instruct and model for your child how
to respond to the tragedy of others. A quick answer or “let’s move beyond
this” remedy is often not the best medicine for a hurting family, even if it
is rooted in the Word. The pattern Jesus modeled with Mary and Martha is
the example to follow to meet the needs of someone who is deeply hurt. In
response to this, call your pastor and ask him if there is anyone sick,
injured, or grieving who needs to be visited. Volunteer and include your
entire family in this ministry visit. Before your visit, read and review
what Jesus did in John 11. Note and highlight how Jesus sympathized with
Mary and Martha. When you arrive, have your entire family pray for the one
who is hurting. Before you depart, leave a card of caring words written by
each family member. When you return home, talk about your experience.
Discuss how you might follow up with the person you visited. Then spend
some time with your family praying for those who lost loved ones this last
week in the terrorist attacks that leveled the World Trade Center, damaged
the Pentagon, and downed an airliner over Pennsylvania. If you know any of
the victims, write their families letters expressing your sorrow. Discuss
with your family what you might do further for them to lighten their load.
Word of God
John 11: 32-33, 35 32 Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus
was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had
been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus therefore saw her
weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in
spirit and was troubled. 35 Jesus wept.
Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work
together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according
to His purpose.
Rev. 20:10 And the devil who deceived them was thrown into
the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are
also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.
Philippians 3: 13-14 13 Brethren, I do not regard
myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what
lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward
the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
James 1: 2-3 2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you
encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces
endurance.
Reference book
A great book to consider reading during this time is:
“Where is God When It Hurts” by Phillip Yancy.
