Someone once said, “What you do speaks so
loudly, I cannot hear what you say.” This is a great statement of truth to
consider when establishing loving relationships with others. Actions speak
louder than words. But according to I Corinthians 13 (the great love
chapter), I believe Paul would change this to say, “What you do with others
in mind, speaks so loudly I can hear everything you say.”
Paul explains God’s highest goal
(unconditional love) for us in terms of unselfish expressions, rather than
acts of inspired word, distinguished knowledge, or observable faith (I
Corinthians 13:2). Putting others first, the heartbeat of
unconditional love, does not mean to devalue one’s worth in the eyes of man
or the presence of God. The Lord created all of us in His image
(Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139:13-16); His thoughts toward us are precious
and too many to count (Psalm 139): 17-18). It is
esteem that He wants us to have, a God-esteem. But in the midst of this
God given worth (which is counterfeited by errant man through the practice
of worldly self-esteem), He wants us, in response, to value others even more
so. Paul wrote a full application of this when he encouraged the
Philippians’ believers to regard others as more important than themselves
(Philippians 2:3-5). This was not to diminish their own value,
but rather to elevate in their minds the value of others.
I Corinthians 13 plays a key role in not only
defining the unselfish operative intended for all believers, but also
calling into account the competitive controversies developed by the
Corinthian believers, who took a gift of God and made it into a spiritual
civil war, that in essence said, “Who’s value is foremost in the eyes of
God?” Amazingly, even today this dishonoring competitive battle (as
described of the Corinthians) goes on. However, in this century, I
Corinthians 13 becomes the text to elevate or depose certain spiritual
gifts, like tongues, for the sake of... guess what? ....declaring,” I have
more value than you.” Even in the Christian realm this is called building
self-esteem; it is the same social mechanism the world uses in assigning its
competitive worth. It is built on me first, those I love second, and all
others a distant third.
God-esteem is different as I Corinthians 13
teaches. It is built on God first, others second, and me third. God
promises that if we attune ourselves first to Him, and pursue the needs of
others, He will in response put His full focus on us. In other words, if
you really want to be first, even selfishly so (God forbid) then put
yourself in the third position (Matthew 19:30).
Parents, be careful how you build the esteem
of your child. Building God-esteem will bring a Godly peace; building
worldly self-esteem will bring a “meism” that will only result in conflict
and unhappiness. When you enroll your children into competition, sports for
example, you may fall into the trap of building worldly self-esteem,
rather than Godly-esteem into your children’s character. Worldly
self-esteem makes statements like this: “You are so much better than
they,” “You’ll show them who’s boss,” “No one is as good as you,” “Live up
to your family name.” “Second place is for losers.” All these subtle
comments will implant within your children a worldly self-esteem that God
neither honors nor confirms. God-esteem is the only kind that works.
Teachable Moments
Since self-esteem seeks to build the “me”
first priority, take time with your children and watch a sporting event
either in person or on T.V. An NFL, NBA, MLB game will probably
demonstrate self-esteem victories and disappointments of the kind your
children will likely encounter. As you watch one of these competitive
contests, have your children note the self-exaltation or taunting that goes
on between athletes when a play is made or missed. You might see a
flamboyant self-exalting dance performed in an end zone in front of millions
of viewers. These self-celebrating demonstrations are the heart of the
worldly self-esteem philosophy today, which says, “I have value” even at
your cost. To further your point, have your children dramatically
role-play the self-proclaiming antics of the athletes they see. Then ask
them to recreate what they have dramatized, accept, on the second go around,
with the principles of I Corinthians 13 in mind. What would an athlete do
for example, if he really took seriously the challenge “love does not brag,
seek its own, or does not exhibit jealousy? Summarize your lesson by
listing all the observations your children have made. Put these
observations above the T.V. titled SELF- ESTEEM OR GOD-ESTEEM.
Word of God
1 Cor. 13:2 and if I have
{the gift of} prophesy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I
have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am
nothing.
Gen. 1:27 And God created
man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He
created them.
Ps. 139:13 ¶ For Thou didst
form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb.
Ps. 139:14 I will give
thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy
works, and my soul knows it very well.
Ps. 139:15 my frame was not
hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, {And} skillfully wrought in the
depths of the earth.
Ps. 139:16 Thine eyes have
seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days
that were ordained {for me}, When as yet there was not one of them.
Ps. 139:17 ¶ How precious
also are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Ps. 139:18 If I should count
them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with Thee.
Phil. 2:3 Do nothing from
selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you
regard one another as more important than himself;
Phil. 2:4 do not {merely}
look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of
others.
Phil. 2:5 Have this attitude
in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
Matt. 19:30 "But many {who
are} first will be last; and {the} last, first.
1 Cor. 12:4 ¶ Now there are
varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit.
1 Cor. 12:7 But to each one
is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.
1 Cor. 12:25 that there
should be no division in the body, but {that} the members should have the
same care for one another.
