Never
to give up
I thought I might share with you
a recent article I just sent out to my parents at Heritage Christian Schools
in September of 2009. It is a message I introduced to my
staff when they returned to school this fall concerning how to handle the
hurts and wounds of life. I hope it can minister to you as it did to me
when I was preparing it.
Last week during our Spiritual
Emphasis Week here at Heritage Christian Schools, there were several
spiritual lessons discussed and taught – all relating to our school’s theme
of: Be Lion’s for God. Aside from the most obvious instruction
about being bold as a lion when it comes to one’s faith, there were five
others lessons, too, with each letter in LIONS representing one of them:
Lovers of God, Inspired to
Learn, Open to Others, Never
to Give Up, and Saved to Serve.
Out of all of these lessons, the
one that has meant the most to me of late is the N –
Never to Give Up. Before I launch into the
nitty-gritty of what I would like to share, there are a few facts about
lions that might be helpful to know. First of all, lions are very powerful
animals, fearless, and hang together in large social groups called prides.
On average lions weigh between 175-200 pounds, can run as fast as 65 mph,
and hunt cooperatively together in groups to hunt down any animal they
want. They are unmatched by any other animal, which is perhaps why they are
called the king of the beasts. An additional fact which directly pertains
to this article is how lions handle hurts and injuries. When they are
wounded, which often happens when they are in a fight with another animal,
they know how to retreat to a safe area where they can lick and nurse their
cuts and gashes. During their recovery, they also receive a lot of help
from lions in their pride until they are well. They never give up as other
animals often do; they just don’t give into not being the king of the
beasts.
We should want to be like the
lion when we get hurt – that is, never to give up no matter how deep the
wound. Of course, our hurts and wounds are much different than the lion.
They are hidden hurts of the heart not the body. The injuries we suffer
come from a variety of causes…like the loss of a loved one, the breakdown of
a marriage or friendship, rejection by others, damaged relationships, the
end of a job or career, financial setbacks, broken dreams, debilitating or
terminal illness, and loss of hope.
These emotional scars often take
a lot longer to heal than the physical ones a lion recovers from. As an
example, when I was a graduate student working on my Master’s degree at the
University of Wyoming, I was put in charge of the graduate dorm. This was
during the Vietnam War era, so many of our new students were not freshman
coming in from high school but damaged young men coming in from the
battlefield. The school did not know where to house this new brand of
freshman. They were too old to be with the younger students, so they
decided to put them with me even though they were not graduate-level
students. Now, needless to say, many of these men had some pretty horrific
battle scars (some still had hand grenade fragments protruding from their
skin), but their biggest wounds were not on their bodies but in their
hearts. During their Vietnam stay, many were deeply hurt by what they had
experienced and encountered and in great need of spiritual and emotional
healing. But there was good news for these men then, as there is for you
and your children now, in regard to the hurts and wounds of life. What I
was able to share with them in part, I share with you in greater detail.
Once again let me restate
loud and clear there is good news
for you when you are hurting, no matter how wounded you are or may become in
the future!!! And this goes
for your children too, who will be learning about how to deal with their own
hurts as they watch you go through them.
The first part of this good news
is that there are numerous passages of Scriptures to turn to when you are
hurting…like Psalm 34. To find others, ask for help from those you go to
church with. You might be surprised at how many they can point you to.
The righteous cry, and the Lord hears and delivers
them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:17-18
Secondly, there are many steps in
Scripture to follow when it comes to recovery. I have picked four that
have helped me the most. Hopefully, they can help you too.
Step 1: Reveal your hurt to God
If
you truly want to recover from whatever injury you are suffering from, you
need to reveal this hurt to God.
You may say, “Well, He already knows about my hurt.
I’m not telling Him something He doesn’t already know.” Yes, that is true,
but He wants you to tell Him anyway – in any fashion you see fit.
Get it out on the table with God; tell Him how
hurt you are and how you feel about it. He can take anything you say, and
won’t love you any less for how it is said or expressed. By comparison, it
is similar to your own children coming to you about a hurt, one that you
already know about. If you are a good parent, you will gladly listen to
what your children want to reveal. And if you are a super parent (like God
is to you), then you won’t be thrown by anything they say, but will love
them no matter what. God wants to hear your hurts, so don’t hold back if
you want to get healed. Remember and repeat this little praise as often as
you can, “Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing.” What
does God do in response? He may forgive you if that is necessary, or He
will lead you to parts of His Word or to others who can help. One way or
the other, God will get you on the road to recovery.
The cords of death encompassed me and the torrents
of ungodliness terrified me. In my distress I called upon the
Lord. Psalm 18:4 & 6
Step 2: Reveal your hurt to others
After you have revealed your hurt to God, seek out some good friends or
family members whom you can trust and share your hurt with them. Keeping
your feelings to yourself is not wise, in comparison it is like a wounded
lion refusing to share his injured condition with the other lions in his
pride who can help him.
David throughout the Psalms displayed his willingness to open up about his
hurts to others. When he writes he holds nothing back from anyone.
My heart is in anguish within me, and the terrors
of death have fallen upon me, fear and trembling come upon me, and horror
has overwhelmed me. Psalm
55:4-5
Even
though you may never be able to open up to as many as David did, you still
need to share your hurts and wounds with a few – those who know Christ,
those who will be there for you no matter what you have done or suffered,
and those who will keep what you have shared confidential.
“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a
good word makes him glad. The righteous is a guide to his neighbor.”
Proverbs 12:25-26
Step 3: Release those who
have hurt you
This
third step is perhaps the most important of all because it deals with the
hurts and wounds that come from others. If you don’t know how to deal with
those who have hurt you, then you will never fully recover.
If the lion for instance was unable to do what
is necessary to take care of an injured leg, then he would have to walk with
a limp the rest of his life (or worse). Thus, he would never be able to run
again, hunt, or do most of the things that sets himself apart as the king of
the beasts.
And so it will be true of you and your children, too,
if you can’t effectively deal with those who have hurt you. Like the lion
you will walk with a limp the rest of your life, but one that is an
emotional or spiritual wobble. So in order to get rid of this limp, you
need to free yourself from any resentment toward others who have hurt you,
no matter what they have done.
In order to get rid of resentment, which affects the
heart toward revenge like no other, you must forgive those who hurt you.
Now, realize you do not have the strength to do this on your own – only God
can help you.
And the way you get His help is to simply say, “God
help me forgive this person just as you have forgiven me so many times for
the hurtful things I have done to you.” And then somehow God does it within
you. Sometimes, He gives you a reason to forgive that person; at other
times, He just miraculously puts it within your heart to do so. You may
need to ask Him again and again with certain people – especially with those
who have deeply hurt you. This is because even as a born again Christian
you still have within you the inclination to always revert back to what you
really wanted to do in the first place, which was to get even.
But each time you pray, you will get further
and further away from giving into this inclination.
Should you decide not to forgive (and I
strongly counsel against this), then you will never recover from your hurt.
You will walk with a limp the rest of your life. So you must decide, do you
want to get well or do you want to get even? You can’t do both as the
Scripture teaches.
Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect
what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on
you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge.
Romans 12: 17-19
So, as those who have been chosen of God put on a
heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing
with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against
anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Colossians
3:12-13
Remember, God knows your hurts better than you, and He knows how to deal
with them better than you. So let Him do His work, and in the in-between
time, rest and get well. You want to return to full health as soon as you
can, so that you can continue with God’s plan and purpose for your life,
just as the lion wants to return so he can take his role and place again in
the pride.
“For I know the plans that I have for you,”
declares the Lord, “plans for
welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah
29:11
Step 4: Refocus on the future
Once
you have recovered from your hurts, move on to what God has for you next.
Put the past behind you and let God make the rest of your life the best of
your life. Adopt Paul’s attitude toward past failures, hurts,
and wounds as expressed in his letter to his fellow Philippian believers.
“….One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and
reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the
prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
A Last Thought
Never To Give Up is the title of this article which simply means
don’t quit because others or life circumstances have hurt you. The key
to not quitting is handling your own set of hurts in life. Many of the most
renowned leaders were only successful because they could handle theirs.
For
example, Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who held England together during
World War II, was constantly ridiculed by his classmates when he was a
child. He just didn’t fit in like everyone else because he was
uncoordinated, talked with a lisp, and considered a weakling. On top of
this, his father rarely gave him the time of day. Yet, because he was able
to deal with his hurts and wounds, he was able succeed to become one of
Britain’s greatest leaders.
Abraham Lincoln is another example of one who suffered many hurts and wounds
by others throughout his life. Aside from losing many more elections than
he won, he also endured the embarrassment of going bankrupt, was constantly
made fun of for his looks, and hanged in effigy by those who hated his
stance on issues. Yet, he survived and did not quit, somehow dealing with
the hurts and wounds of life.
Then, there is D. L. Moody, one of the greatest evangelists in American
history who was just as well known in the 1800s as Billy Graham is today.
Yet, in his early days Moody was made fun of for his inability to
communicate. So poor was his grammar and knowledge of the Bible, he was
rejected for membership at the Mount Vernon Congregational Church. How
embarrassing! How hurtful! However, Moody was able to overcome these hurts
and wounds along with many others cast at him and did not quit.
Now,
I am not completely sure as to how each of these men specifically handled
their hurts. Out of the three, Moody most likely followed the Scripture and
steps I mentioned in this article. Regardless, the point is…too succeed
with what God wants for you and your children, you need Never to Give Up.
In order to do this, you must learn how to handle the hurts and wounds of
life. I have given you a few Scripture-based steps to follow. There are
many others – all in the Bible. If you have trouble finding them, try
asking someone you attend church with to help. If needed, you are welcome
to send me an email, and I will be happy to help as well.
