Note: This article is geared
specifically toward parenting, but I believe the key principles my remarks
can apply to any challenge in life. May God speak to your heart as He has
with mine. God Speed, Kent McClain
Perseverance in parenting is not so
much one long race, but rather a series of short races connected together
like links of a chain. Dr. McClain
Years ago when I was a
young parent I ran a 26 mile marathon race in Colorado; the difficult race
was a series of short runs one leading to the next very much like the links
of a chain. Each running link had its own challenges; the first 7 miles,
for instance, were certainly different than the final seven, especially in
relation to the amount of energy I had in reserve. The marathon is
analogous to the challenges of parenting because both require perseverance
in order to finish well. Parenting must be accomplished in stages, one
stage leading to the next, like the links of a chain. Each stage has its
own challenges, surprises, disappointments, and victories. The key to
each stage, or link, is your persistent resolve to trust God, your
commitment to be in harmony with your spouse, and your unrelenting
steadfastness never to give up no matter what. If you are constant in
these three things, and you take your parenting responsibilities one stage
or link at a time then you will finish strong with your children. I
want to share with you two key passages and a remarkable story that
demonstrates perseverance.
The first passage comes
from a letter Paul wrote to his fellow Christians in Philippi during his
last days of life on earth. In this passage Paul was not engrossed in his
past failures or successes; he was only focused on what he could do for the
Lord now and into the future. In your parenting you need to have this
same attitude; that is, not to be overly wrought with past failures, or
dependent on past successes.
Philippians 3:12-14 12
Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I
press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by
Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it
yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to
what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward
call of God in Christ Jesus.
In the next passage, Paul speaks of running a
persistent race for God by presenting the Gospel to as many as he could
during his life time. This is what Paul regarded as winning the race.
You need the same winning persistence with your children; that is, to do all
you can to nurture and mature them to be wonderful sons and daughters of the
Lord. And winning means you never give up, but persevere through every
circumstance thrown in your path or your child’s path.
I Cor. 9:23-27 23 I do
all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow
partaker of it. 24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run,
but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. 25
Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things.
They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26
Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as
not beating the air; 27 but I discipline my body and make it
In the following story
you will see tremendous resolve and perseverance against all odds to save
the lives of 27 men. As a parent you should take this as an example of
what you would be willing to do with your own children.
In December 1914,
departing from South Georgia, an island in the Atlantic Ocean, Ernest
Shackleton led a crew of 27 men in a quest to cross Antarctica on foot, the
last-known unclaimed prize in exploration annals. As they drew within 85
miles of the continent, their ship was trapped by unusually thick ice.
Originally called Polaris, the ship had been renamed Endurance
by Shackleton, a term derived from his family motto, Fortitudine Vincimus,
which means “by endurance we conquer.” This name proved to be
prophetic. Frozen fast for ten months, the trapped ship was eventually
crushed and destroyed by the increasing pressure. Forced to abandon the
ship, the men salvaged their lifeboats, camped on the ice for five months,
and hiked to navigable waters. Amazingly, Shackleton and every crew member
survived for 20 months in one of the most vicious regions of the world.
They overcame extreme cold, breaking ice floes, leopard seal attacks, a
shortage of food and drinking water, and finally two open boat trips.
The most remarkable of the small boat trips was a treacherous 800-mile ocean
crossing back to South Georgia by Shackleton and a few of the men. Today,
that achievement is considered one of the greatest accomplishments in
nautical history. After arriving at South Georgia, Shackleton led his team
across the rugged, icy mountains, reached the island’s remote whaling
station, organized a rescue team, and went back for the others.
The miraculous outcome against horrendous odds was attributed to
Shackleton’s leadership. When interviewed later, every member of the crew
said he highly respected and admired Shackleton throughout the entire
two-year ordeal. Shackleton never doubted they would survive and he
communicated this confidence to the others. But his optimism was mixed with
realism. When it became clear the Endurance could not withstand the
pressure of the ice, he made plans to abandon ship, set up camp, and search
for additional possibilities. When they journeyed across the ice and
Shackleton realized the need to discard weight, one of the first things to
go was his valuable heirloom gold watch, which the men knew he greatly
treasured. In the lifeboat journey through the frigid stormy sea, he
daringly stood in the stern of the small craft and meticulously guided its
course. Shackleton maintained cohesion and cooperation among the
men. He constantly emphasized, “We are one – we live or die together.” He
made it clear that he was in command, but he was always open to others’
opinions and asked for input and suggestions. He led open discussions each
evening and helped build social bonds among the men. He stressed courtesy
and mutual respect. Everyone, including Shackleton, worked side by side and
performed chores. Shackleton defused anger. He wisely handled
power struggles and dissidents before they could take hold, even sharing his
tent with the potentially biggest dissenter. He had to alter short-term
objectives and keep the men’s energy on these objectives while never losing
focus of the long-term goals. He found ways to lighten things up with humor
and made sure there were always little successes to celebrate. His methods
and actions eliminated what could have been devastating anxiety and despair
among the men.
In the end, he knew that
survival depended on a bold act, literally a do-or-die act, which was the
attempt to reach an outpost by crossing 800 miles of tempestuous seas in an
open boat. He took the chance. As a result, all 28 men not only survived,
but also became the epitome of the rewards that can come from belief,
creativity, and 212° perseverance. (An excerpt from the book “212° - the
extra degree.”)
So don’t give up, parent
your children one stage at a time with great perseverance. And if you do
then when you are finished and your children have left the home, you will be
able to look back with joy on the race you ran as a parent.