“Love is not provoked”

I Corinthians 13

The Report Card

Perhaps no one except Christ Himself had more control over his anger than Joseph of the Old Testament.  Joseph had a right to be angry and revengeful toward his family, his Egyptian master’s wife, the forgetful cupbearer, and finally God Himself, for putting him through an undeserved seventeen-year gauntlet of rejection.   And if   expressed anger (love’s great enemy) was conquered by Joseph, then parents today need to repeatedly read and discuss with their children his account of victory, for it was quite remarkable.   Next week in article #50 we will look at Joseph’s approach to accomplishing the unconditional love of I Corinthians 13.  Today we will focus on a few of God’s men who did not demonstrate this ability. 

The disciples for example, were hardly in Joseph’s league during their discipleship years.   There were five key areas of love flaws that needed to be conquered by the disciples in order to improve their love report card. 

First, they demonstrated jealousy, a key culprit leading to anger when they argued over who would be the best of the disciples. (Luke 22:24-27).   Jesus rebuked them for their argument.   He did not, as some parents do today, use it to get the most out of each disciple by pitting them against one another.   Somehow the influence of competitive sports today has indirectly inspired fathers to use this method in raising children.   It is disastrous; don’t do it. 

Second, some of the disciples were easily angered and out of control at times.  Peter, for example (John 18:7-11), cut the ear off of a high priest’s slave when confronted with Jesus’ arrest.   In response, Jesus healed the man and rebuked Peter for his violent reaction.   As Christian parents, Jesus’ action should be considered.   Jesus did not accept Peter’s loyal reaction, nor did he respond in kind, nor did He yell at Peter for his angry response.  He simply, in a very even manner, repaired the damage while delivering a controlled rebuke to Peter. 

Third, the disciples were not always careful about what they said when confronted with trials.   Peter’s denial of Jesus during his trials was except for Judas’ betrayal one of the most wounding words ever uttered by a disciple (Matthew 26:72-75).   Jesus endeavored to explain in advance the kind of situation Peter and the disciples was going to enter, but Peter did not listen (Matthew 16: 21-2, 26:30-35).    Jesus’ method of anticipating potential outcomes of a coming event is a great example for Christian parents to follow when working with children.   Role-playing potential situations is great preparation for controlling anger.  The simulation exercises airline pilots are trained with in a flight lab prove invaluable when the test for actual flight occurs.  Children who are prepared in advance to tackle angry confrontations will most likely express unconditional love rather than unrestrained anger.

Fourth, the disciples were not beyond physical retaliation in their kindergarten days of discipleship.   For example, Paul (a post resurrection disciple) was quite violent (Acts 7:54) before committing his life to Christ.   A parenting application can be drawn from God’s early fathering of Paul.  In response to Paul’s violent response to His Son, Jesus Christ, God isolated Paul (Acts 9:3-9) until his repentive attention was assured. Then a clear message (Acts 9:17) of repentance was offered and received by Paul.   Subsequent to Paul’s   response (Acts 9:18-19), God restored him fully.  Perhaps a pattern for parenting (note: this is not a prescribed biblical precept, command, or law) can be seen and used with children, especially when they display unloving actions that are fleshed out when they physically hurt fellow siblings, neighborhood friends, foes, and schoolmates.    The pattern according to this suggested application is to first isolate, then instruct until repentance is secured, and finally fully restore the child. 

Fifth, the disciples were often unloving toward others; for example James and John sought physical revenge on a group of Samaritans who refused Jesus their hospitality.   Jesus’ quick response brought criticism, but surprisingly not toward the Samaritans, but rather toward His two unforgiving disciples.  Aside from His immediate rebuke directed at James and John, he would later take them back to a Samaritan village (John 4) where they would have opportunity to demonstrate whether they had leaned anything about unconditional love.   Of course this is an incredible parenting lesson for children to learn.   Rejection by others, even at an early age should be regarded as a challenge to win other children over with unconditional love. 

Word of God

Jeal    Jealousy

Luke 22:24-27 And there arose also a dispute among them as to which one of them was regarded to be greatest.   And He said to them, “the kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called’ Benefactors.’   “But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant.  “For who is greater, the one who reclines at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at the table? But I am among you as the one who serves

Easily angered

John 18:7-11   Therefore He again asked them, “Whom do you seek?” And they said, “Jesus the Nazarene.”   Jesus answered, “I told you that I am He; so if you seek Me, let these go their way, to fulfill the word which He spoke, “Of those whom You have given Me I lost not one.” Simon Peter then, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s slave, and cut off his right ear; and the slave’s name was Malchus.   So Jesus said to Peter, “Put the sword into the sheath; the cup which the Father has given Me, shall I not drink it?”

Wounding with words

Matthew 26:71-75  

When he had gone out to the gateway, another servant-girl saw him and said to those who were there, “This man was   with Jesus of Nazareth.” And again he denied it with an oath, “I do not know the man.”   A little later the bystanders came up and said to Peter, “Surely you too are one of them; for even the way you talk gives you away.”  Then he began to curse and swear, “I do not know the man!” And immediately a rooster crowed.    And Peter remembered the word which Jesus had said, “Before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly

Physically hurtful

Acts 7:55-59  

Now when they heard this, they were cut to the quick, and they began gnashing their teeth at   him.   But being full of the Holy Spirit, he gazed intently into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God; and he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened up and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”  But they cried out with a loud voice, and covered their ears and rushed at him with one impulse. When they had driven him out of the city, they began stoning him; and the witnesses laid aside their robes at the feet of a young man named Saul. They went on stoning Stephen as he called on the Lord and said, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!”

Unforgiving

Luke 9:52-56  When the days were approaching for His ascension, He was determined to go to Jerusalem; and He sent messengers on ahead of Him, and they went and entered a village of the Samaritans to make arrangements for Him.   But they did not receive Him, because He was traveling toward Jerusalem. When His disciples James and John saw this, they said, “Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?”  But He turned and rebuked them, [and said, “You do not know what kind of spirit you are of; for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.”  And they went on to another village

The role-playing application

Matthew 16:21-23,  26:30-35

Matt. 16:21-23   From that time Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day.    Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You.”    But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s. Matt. 26:30-35.   After singing a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.  Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of Me this night, for it is written, ‘I will strike down the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be scattered.’    “But after I have been raised, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.”   But Peter said to Him, “Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away.”  Jesus said to him, “Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You.” All the disciples said the same thing too.

God gained Paul’s attention

Acts 9:3-9      

As he was traveling, it happened that he was approaching Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him;   and he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?”  And he said, “Who are You, Lord?” And He said, “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting,  but get up and enter the city, and it will be told you what you must do.”  The men who traveled with him stood speechless, hearing the voice but seeing no one.   Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; and leading him by the hand, they brought him into Damascus.   And he was three days without sight, and neither ate nor drank.  

God gave Paul a clear message        

Acts 9:17 So Ananias departed and entered the house, and after laying his hands on him said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road by which you were coming, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”       

God  God  restored Paul     

Acts   Acts 9:18-19  

And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight, and he got up and was baptized; Restored and he took food and was strengthened.

Unconditional love review James and John

John 4:5,7,9,10,13-15,27-29 5 So he cometh to a city of Samaria, 7 There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. 9 The Samaritan woman therefore saith unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, who am a Samaritan woman? (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) 10 Jesus answered and said unto unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. 13 Jesus answered and said unto her, Every one that drinketh of this water shall thirst again: 14 but whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up unto eternal life. 15  The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come all the way hither to draw. 27 And upon this came his disciples; and they marveled that he was speaking with a woman; yet no man said, What seekest thou? Why speakest thou with her? 28 So the woman left her waterpot, and went away into the city, and saith to the people, 29 Come, see a man, who told me all things that ever I did: can this be the Christ?

Teachable Moment  

When you review your children’s progress report at various times during the course of the school year, conduct a corresponding evaluation of the entire families progress report on the love God wants you to have.   Here’s what it could look like.

_____________

(Fill in your y name)

Love Progress Report

 September to June

Family Member ______________________ Age ______________________

                                                                                                                            The Responsibility of the Evaluation

The entire family shares the individual responsibility for each love progress report.  It should be noted though, that the final evaluation belongs solely to each member.

Parents, Teenagers and Children

This report has been carefully planned as a systematic record of your family member’s love progress at school, work, home, and play.   Each member should feel free to gain more detailed information through personal conferences between your family members.   Remember the entire family is joined together in a vital effort to live out the great love chapter in the Bible, I Corinthians 13. 

                                                                                                                                            Grading Period

                                                                                                                               Fall   Winter   Spring Summer

LOVE IS NOT ANGRY

Not jealous…………………………………………                 ____    ____    ____    ____                                                                   

Not easily angered…………………………………             ____    ____    ____    ____  

Not wounding with words………………………...          ____    ____    ____    ____

Not physically hurtful to others…………………..        ____    ____    ____    ____

Not long in remembering the hurts by others……    ____    ____    ____    ____

Marks used on the love report

O       Outstanding                                                                                                             

VG      Very Good  

S        Satisfactory  

N       Needed improvement

U       Unsatisfactory (Below Minimum Love Requirement)

I        Incomplete Work (Summer school may be needed)