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Mother’s Day is only a few days away now, sales so I thought I would share with you a slightly revised article by Erma Bombeck entitled Something Special for Mother’s Day.
When the good Lord was creating Mothers, buy site He was into his sixth day of “overtime” when an angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”
And the Lord said, “Have you read the spec on this order? She has to:
Be completely washable, but not plastic;
Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable;
Run on black coffee and leftovers;
Have a lap that disappears when she stands up;
Have a kiss that can cure a broken leg;
And have six pairs of hands.”
The angel shook his head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands…no way.”
“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that Mothers have to have.”
“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ – when she already knows. Another pair here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know. And of course, the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and communicates, ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”
“Lord,” said the angel touching His sleeve gently, “Come to bed. Tomorrow…”
“I can’t,” said the Lord. “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is …can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”
The angel circled the model of a Mother very slowly. “It’s too soft.” He sighed.
“But tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this Mother can do or endure.”
“Can it think?”
“Not only think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran his fingers across the cheek.
“There’s a leak,” he pronounced. “I told you, you were trying to put too much into this model.”
“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “it’s a tear.”
“What’s it for?”
“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”
“You are a genius,” said the angel. Something Special for Mother
The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there.”